Long time readers may recall that I wrote (deliberately bad) poetry for St. Valentine's day two years ago, and then again last year. I now seek to continue this tradition, by popular demand.1
Roses are fluorescent green
I hear people sneering
At my failures in
Genetic engineering
---
Roses are shrubs
Violets perrenials
Let's forget the garden
And go plan our nuptials
---
Roses are white
Violets are white
Overexposed photos
Really do bite
---
Roses are chocolate
Milk Tray are too
If your love has hayfever
You know what to do
---
Roses are prickly
Cacti2 are worse
But neither as painful
As terrible verse
---
Thank you very much.
[1] No, really. Someone actually requested that I do this. Name withheld to protect the guilty.
[2] Does anyone who actually knows any Latin know whether this is a genuine Latin plural, or amade up one? Etymology online says that the word does derive from Latin, but I don't really know anything of Lating declensions. It seems wrong though, and I'd have used "cactuses" if it had scanned properly.
- Valentine's day poetry, part 3
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
rho- 14th February 2006
accomplished
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nadriel replied to my post with:
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*Giggles*
rho, m'dear. I love you. *Giggles some more*
rho, m'dear. I love you. *Giggles some more*
Roses are white
Violets are white
Overexposed photos
Really do bite
*applauds* That was decidedly not a bad poem.
Violets are white
Overexposed photos
Really do bite
*applauds* That was decidedly not a bad poem.
Bizarre. OED2 does not mention "cacti" at all, and doesn't address the plural of "cactus" (although it has citations that use either "cactuses" or "cactus" as the plural). Why do you let me down, OED? WHY?
MWCD14 lists "cacti" first in the list of plurals, followed by "cactuses" and then "cactus". Columbia lists "cactuses" before "cacti", the AP Stylebook prefers "cactuses". The Economist prefers "cacti".
"Cacti" bothers me for the same reason "octopi" does; sure, there's a Latin word in there, but the root's Greek, and if you're going to insist on maintaining another language's pluralization rules then you may as well go all the way back, not stop halfway. Cactoi!
Regardless: Roses are prickly / Cactuses worse / ...
MWCD14 lists "cacti" first in the list of plurals, followed by "cactuses" and then "cactus". Columbia lists "cactuses" before "cacti", the AP Stylebook prefers "cactuses". The Economist prefers "cacti".
"Cacti" bothers me for the same reason "octopi" does; sure, there's a Latin word in there, but the root's Greek, and if you're going to insist on maintaining another language's pluralization rules then you may as well go all the way back, not stop halfway. Cactoi!
Regardless: Roses are prickly / Cactuses worse / ...
These are awesome. *giggle* I liked the genetic engineering one best.
I love your "bad" poetry. It amuses me greatly, and makes me very happy that I have friends like you. :)
nadriel replied to my post with: Roses are red,He can usually make me look like a cheerful bugger, but he's not usually that bad...
tulips are red.
Would you still love me,
Were I rotted and dead?
Neil Gaiman copied you and wrote bad poetry too!
Clearly you are an inspiration (and he is a fanboy)
Clearly you are an inspiration (and he is a fanboy)
2006-02-14 15:16 (UTC)