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The "lingerie as armour" problem
guild wars
rho
I was just discussing one of the more impractical hairstyels from GuildWars with shehops (the discussion stemming from the fact that I am challenging her to try to style her hair like that). This conversation then branched out a little, to encompass the whole "lingerie as armour" problem that seems to plague so many female characters in video games. And even the ones who actually wear proper chainmail hauberks always seem to have hair that would get in the way if you were trying to swing an axe, or skirts so long that you'd trip over them, or whatever.

Clearly, this problem needs to be addressed, and we believe we've figured out how. Someone should make a game which allows great diversity in appearance for characters. You should be able to choose between practical armour and outfits which would normally be reserved for use in a nightclub. Throughout all of the game, this choice should have no effect at all on the gameplay.

Right up until you get to the final boss, that is.

When you're just about to kill the final boss, if you aren't dressed practically, you will get you hair tangle in a low-hanging branch. Or you will trip and fall over your long, flowing skirt. Or you will suffer from frostbite due to hardly wearing any clothes. Clearly, at this point, the boss will kill you horribly. And because you were incapacitated, they'd have extra time to ensure that you couldn't be resurrected in any way, and you'd have to restart. And next time through, you really ought to choose some sensible clothes.

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I'm totally in on the royalties when this game sees its debut as a wild, smashing, fantastically lucrative success... yes?

I agree- if i were heading out for a bit of whomping in real life I would certainly dress appropriately.

Excellent idea! There also needs to be a racing game that emphasises the importance of wearing clean underwear (because, as our mothers always told us, you should always wear clean underwear in case you end up in a traffic accident).

(Deleted comment)
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