delirium happy

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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5 years ago
delirium happy
rho
After some reminiscing and a whole lot of cringing with emmavescence a poll is required:

Poll #981915 5 years ago

Think of what you were like 5 years ago

Oh God, I needed a smack about the head! I'm so embarassed now by who I was then
24(50.0%)
Nope, not embarassed at all
24(50.0%)

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I wish I could go back to that time and make other choices. Preferably ones that didn't involve dating my abuser, and then choosing her over my high school sweetie when the issue was forced. Also the whole going off to school to study something I didn't care about in the slightest.

I guess I'm not embarrassed. Just regretful. And one of these days real soon, I'll stop blaming myself for making those decisions.

Neither. I was severely ill and trying to deal with massively difficult and stressful things. I made several mistakes, some rather big. But I really didn't need a smack.

I was young and foolish then, etc. :-)

I'm probably more embarrassed of my current state than my sixteen-year-old self, who was pretty together as sixteen-year-olds go.

Granted, I like my life better now, I've learned a lot, and some of the things I did then I wouldn't want to do now, but it was who I was then, and perhaps I needed a smack sometimes, but embarrassed? Nah. It was just me being me as I was then. Life is nothing if not a learning and growing process; we all do it.

Now, ask me about 10 and 11 years ago... I did need a smack then, and did some embarrassing things, too. But, I've changed. We all do that, as well.

Hmm, 5 years ago I was 15 and pretty alright and getting over that "ohmygodI'mateenager I must annoy absolutely everyone I see" part of growing up. 7 years ago I would've smacked myself around the head, and 3 years ago I would've smacked myself around the head. But 5 I think I was actually on the right path.

Five years ago I was sixteen. god, I bet some of being sixteen is documented in my lj! I think that was around the time I started standing up for myself and such, and merciful amnesia is blocking up much of the rest, so I'm not completely mortified. But still, if I met my sixteen year old self? I would cry with embarrassment.

That being said, you can go back and read about me five years ago, because I haven't deleted my journal.

While there are things I might change, I think I did reasonably well with what was open to me at the time.

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