delirium happy

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delirium happy
rho
I've been thinking about names recently.

Someone on my friends list posted about them the other day, and I've been vaguely pondering on them on and off ever since. For most transfolk, picking a name is a highly symbolic thing, which many can spend weeks, months, or even years deliberating over, in order to find a name that fits exactly right. For me, my first name was picked in a matter of seconds and my middle name in a matter of minutes, using the "yeah, that'll do, I guess" pick a name at random method.

I don't regret doing things this way, and I certainly have no desire to be anything other than a Rachel. At least, not unless you count the odd occasions when I feel like making my full name "ρ" just to observe the abject havoc it would cause on databases. Fortunately they tend not to last for more than a few minutes at a time before I come to my senses, and have never lasted long enough for me to find the required text for a statutory declaration, print it out, and find a solicitor to swear (an affidavit) at.

I do, however, sometimes think that I might like to change my middle name. There are a few reasons for this, but mostly because I've never really connected with it, so it doesn't feel like me. This is what I've been thinking about just recently. Various thoughts have crossed my mind. I could just ditch the middle name entirely. I could ask my parents to choose a name for me. I could ask my friends to choose one for me. I could try to find a name myself which feels right to me, though anyone who's encountered my character names in games will know that namings aren't really my strong point. I could go with more than one of the options above and have more than one middle name.

I suspect that what I will do is absolutely nothing, because changing one's name is something of a hassle, and it doesn't really bother me all that much. I'm not sure whether that's what I should do, though. Thoughts?

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How about "ρ", just to observe the abject havoc it would cause on selected databases of your choice? ;)

I would suggest you stay with the middle name you have now; after all, that's what most people tend to do with the middle name that their parents gave them, whether they feel especially connected to it or not.

(For example, I - I know intellectually what my middle name is, but because I use it so seldomly, it's not really emotionally "mine". But I've never bothered changing or removing it.)

Yeah. That's something that I've thought in the past two. On the other hand, though, since when has "that's what most people do" ever been a good argument in favour of anything?

On the other hand, though, since when has "that's what most people do" ever been a good argument in favour of anything?

I think it can sometimes be a good argument in favour of something, and that it can always be an argument in favour (which may or may not be counterbalanced by counter-arguments, and may or may not be supported by other arguments in favour).

Or put another way, whether it's a good argument or not will depend on the situation, but I think it's always worth considering it, even if only briefly before discarding it. I don't think "what other people do" is always a bad/worthless argument.

Yes, this. My middle name is only used on official documents if I'm forced to give it.

I too have no particular connection to my middle name. My parents named my brother and I with short, easy to spell and say first names, and longer multi-syllabic middle names. I don't dislike it, and it's even quite nice, I suppose, but I use it very rarely. If I see my full name written down it brings back memories of being a kid when I actually sometimes used it. None of our names have any particular meaning, other then sounding quite nice together with our other names, so it doesn't feel very special. Though I used to really dislike my first name for a while, partly because it was so common, but I got over that and now it's properly "mine".

rho, maybe try running through some lists of names and see if any appeal to you or jump out and you might like? I'm not sure I've known anyone before who's wanted to pick a new name just because, so I'm not sure what the process would be (as opposed to someone changing their name to something specific, because I do know several people whose names now are not the names they were born with, many of whom won't disclose their original names and get a bit upset when people are curious). It doesn't seem worth changing your name to another name that you don't have a particular connection with. It also doesn't seem worth getting rid of it entirely if you don't especially dislike it, when you can just omit it from general use rather than going through hassle.

In short, I am not very helpful, but felt the need to add 2p anyway.

I don't use my given first name. I haven't yet legally changed it, but I do intend to.

I didn't like my first name. It's not that it was a bad name, it just felt like a very bad fit for me.

So, my process was an active desire to not have that name and then thinking about what to replace it with, rather than a desire for a specific new name.

I thought about several names I liked, but decided on Rachel, because it was what my father wanted to name me, and so I felt I had more of a connection and a claim on it.

A friend of mine has been wanting to change her last name because she dislikes it and looked into many possibilities, including going over her family tree for last names she had a connection with that she might prefer.

I think it might be worth perusing the family tree to see if you can come up with any family names that you might take to, rho. It can be a nice nod to tradition and heritage while doing your own thing.

I have an active dislike of my middle name; there was a tradition in my family that the male line of descent had the same middle name, but my parents decided to change that because the middle name starts with the same letter as my first name.

I feel like I'm missing out on something as a result, and if I ever have a son I will restore the tradition. I don't think changing my middle name now would benefit me though; it'd feel like cheating somehow.

Three generations of my father's line have the same first given name, and I sometimes thought it might have been appropriate to give me that name, too.

Though three generations might be too short to make it a "family tradition".

(FWIW, my grandfather went by that name but my father goes by his second given name, perhaps because he shared his first given name with his father. I don't know what my great-grandfather was called.)

I feel the exact opposite way...I hate my middle name (And first name for that matter) because both were given as part of a dumb family tradition stating that all males have to have the same initials. It feels like my parents just took the easy way out...(especially coupled with the fact that I have the most irritatingly common middle/first names ever).

I guess I took a distinctly different tack here. My middle name is generically Catholic, but means "bittersweet." In point of fact, my full name translated to English means Manly Bittersweet Little Mild One. *facepalm* Then again, Sarianna isn't much better--Princess Grace. Har de har har. I kind of get a kick out of it. Heck, you rather embrace your first name's meaning. If you do change your middle name, just pick something comfortable that doesn't rub you wrong round the edges or have an unpleasant nickname. :)

If you do change your middle name, just pick something comfortable that doesn't rub you wrong round the edges or have an unpleasant nickname. :)

Hm, the "nickname" bit makes me want to suggest "Rhonda" as a middle name.

Or, after a flip through Wikipedia, Rhoda or Rhodope or Rhona.

You could just not have a middle name at all. Both my parents disliked their middle names so they just didn't give me one. It used to occasionally be a problem on forms, but hasn't been an issue for a long time.

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Hello mysterious stranger! Welcome, and don't be shy. I'm often bad at replying to comments, but I always love reading them.

In my case, I went the other way round. Rachel means "ewe" and I've developed a fascination with sheep since choosing that name for myself.

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