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delirium happy

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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Forever on the outside, looking in
delirium happy
Why is it that I'm always on the periphery of any community I'm involved with? That I always feel somewhat detached, and not really properly a part of anything?

I was chatting in #lj_support just now with rahaeli, alanj and deslea and while it was Good and everything, I just somehow felt bleh. As if I wasn't part of the group. Which I feel with more or less any group that I'm a member of these days.

It's probably just impressive ammounts of paranoia on my part.

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I think this is pretty universal. I feel that way myself, nine times out of ten (including during that same chat, funnily enough). I think in any group environment, we're all carrying our own sense of separation - we don't really belong, because of [insert personal inferiority complex here]. And usually the others are totally oblivious to it. But it's still there for us.

It's not paranoia, but nor is it "real" in any objective sense either. It's just people being people - together yet separate. And sometimes that's...well, kind of bleh.

Deslea, pretty bleh herself, but on your side just the same...

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