delirium happy

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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Good things don't end in -eum; they end in -mania or -teria
delirium happy
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So who here knows anything about biploar disorder? I ask because I wonder if I have tendencies in that direction. But on the other hand, I worry that I also have hypochondriac tendencies, so who knows.

That I have depressive tendencies is news to approximately nobody. The way I tend to describe depression is this: imagine that you're doing something like skydiving. You're about to leap off the plane, and even though you want to do it, there's something holding you back. You have to put a concerted mental effort into actually making the leap. Depression is when you have to put that mental effort in just to put one foot in front of the other. It's where there's a fog between your brain and your body and everything is out of focus, and nothing really matters anyway.

And occasionally, not often, but occasionally, I have spells where I'm the exact opposite of that. I particulalry remember one instance, when I was in 6th form, where I started leaping over desks and then banging my head into a wall. These are, I guess, mania. I had such a spell last night. Everything was more vivid than normal. More urgent. Instead of being held back from doing things, I couldn't stop. The instant I thought of doing something, I did it. There was no self-censorship, and no holding back. I couldn't sit still, and had to be doing things. Had to press things through. It felt like instead of having underactive neurotransmitters as is the case with depression, I had overactive neurotransmitters, that were overpowering the negative feedback (and bleh. I can't remember enough neurochemistry to remember the proper name for that).

So, two questions, for those who know what they're talking about. Firstly, is what I describe consistent with my tentative self diagnosis of bipolar tendencies. Secondly, given that I don't actually get that way very often, would I be correct that it isn't actually something that I should consider problematic?

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My knowledge is limited to living with someone who's bipolar for a couple years, and some reading I did on the internet during that time. I'd say what you've described is very consistent with it, but with limited examples, it's hard to say for sure. I think everyone could probably cite examples of mania and depression if they look hard enough. The real question is whether you think it's a problem.

There are several differenet probelms that get lumped together as BPD and so what one applies to one is often contradictory to another, and so self-diagnosis is difficult at best.

One form deals wiht the bodies inability to properly regulate the adrenalie cycle. This one runs in my family on my dad's side.Essentially the chemical that is supposed to be produced to break down the adrenaline that is always being produced isnt' prduced in reliable/regular dosages.

When it's underproduced, this leads to eveything being more vivid, interesting and such, lots of energy, etc. When it' sbeing underproduced the body has too little adrenalin in the system and mostly the opposite is true.

Assumign this type, the manic side has gotten my family in much more trouble than the depressed side. High levels of adrenalie make it difficult if not impossible to sleep, adn after a few sleepleess nights and having been wired on adrenaline the whole time we do stupid things. (See my brother stealing a bunch of cars about a year bak in my journal...)Most everybody in that family has this to one degree or another, but most of us aren't actively being treated for it.

A few of my cousins and my brother are receiving chemical treatment, but the drugs involved are pretty harsh, and gettin ghte right combination of type and dosagee involves a lot of trial and error, years in many cases, and even when you get it right achanges to circumstances (increased/decreased stree, weight changes, etc) mean that it's a constant battle.

Assuming this type, I would say that the cure seems often worse than the problem. Though not always. But I'm not a docotr or anything. From the chemical treatment side of things, pot actually seems to mellow out the adrenaline response (with fewer apparent side effeects than teh prescriptions), but I can hardly say try that first...

SO there's my views on one particular form of BPD, remember, I'm not a doctor, and I certainly am not suggestiong doing anything illegal. My advice is to go talk to a professional, you can always turn down treatment if it's looking liek the cure isnt' worth it.

I aplogize for the horrendous typing... Screwed up my preview...

IANAD, just a nutcase. I agree, it does sound somewhat consistent with bipolar disorder (whose sufferers, on Usenet newsgroups, refer to themselves as "beepers"), but there are still details missing. For example, when you had that spell in sixth form, or when you have spells like that today, what happens with your sleep? Are you able to go to sleep at night, or do you have spells of 24-48 hours or more in which you're wide awake round the clock?

The most important thing, if you ever go for a psychiatric evaluation for this, is to tell them immediately that you suspect you have bipolar tendencies so that they DO NOT put you on an antidepressant, especially the SSRI class (Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft and the like), as those can trigger spells of mania in beepers, especially if administered without an anticonvulsant or mood stabilizer.

The most important thing, if you ever go for a psychiatric evaluation for this, is to tell them immediately that you suspect you have bipolar tendencies so that they DO NOT put you on an antidepressant, especially the SSRI class (Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft and the like), as those can trigger spells of mania in beepers, especially if administered without an anticonvulsant or mood stabilizer.

What do you mean by "beepers"?

Actually, one of the first things a psychiatrist will do if they suspect you are bi-polar is put you on SSRIs for a short amount of time, usually on a fairly low dosage. It triggering a form of mania (there are multiple kinds of mania, something people rarely know) is one of the only absolutely-positive ways of telling if someone is bi-polar.

Well, I have actually been on an SSRI in the past (fluoxetine/prozac), although at the time I was also taking another drug (androcur) which just happens to be a clinical depressant, so...

OK, a brief psychological history of me. Firstly, I am non-specificly MtF transgender. I could write huge long entries or essays about where I stand on that front and still only scratch the surface, so I'll say non-specificly and hope that I'm right in guessing that you're knowledgable enough to have a vague idea of what I'm talking about. I started getting treatment for that at about the same time as I left home for the first time, at 18. At around that time, I also dropped fairly heavily into depression, which pretty much stopped me from leading a normal life for several years. Essentially, I spent most of my time in bed. It was during that period when I was on both a depressant and an antidepressant at the same time, but not for very long. The combination generally just messed me up in the head (more so) and I came off both of them. I've had episodes similar to the one I described, infrequently but consistently throughout this time. I wouldn't want to try to quantify the frequency, because I honestly just don't know. My sleep patterns throughout have been exceedingly messed up. When I was at the "never getting out of bed" stage, I essentially just slept when I was tired and not otherwise, which resulted in me sleeping at all hours of the day, and sometimes for 15 hours of a day, and sometimes for none of it. Recently, I've tended toward just needing a whole lot of sleep in general, but with fits of insomnia, that I don't really know how to deal with, as I'm still not used to trying o keep regular hours again. Last night, after what I described, I essentially stayed completely alert until about 5am and then became very tired, but still with some of the elements I described still ongoing. As if my brain was wanting to keep going, but my body was having none of it.

In general, I'm just a nutcase. I'm not convinced as to how useful or applicable I find DSM IV as it applies to me. I have a general high background count of being messed up in the head, so the specifics tend to get all lost and smeared together. As I mention down-thread, I'm not looking for some quick fix, or just to put a label on something, I'm just curious if other people have experiences that match my own at all, and if so if they can offer me any advice. And I feel as if I'm not explaining myself at all well tonight, but oh well.

I'm familiar with it, have loved and lived with multiple who have it and am trained to recognise it. Let me ask something though -- what's the good in knowing? If it's something bad enough you want it treated, go to a proper psychiatrist for a prolonged period of time. If it's not, something you feel needs treated, what's the good in knowing, or of having an informal diagnosis by people who aren't drs?

I'm loathed to say anything else about what you might or might not be. Everyone experiences things consistent with damn near everything at one point or another in their life. Diagnoses, even just "that sounds like that", with psychiatric disorders, syndromes, tendencies need to be done over a prolonged basis of observation.

There's two elements to it. One is the intelectual level. I like understanding things, and I like understanding mself. I know that I have something of a habit for overanalysing myself, which I try not to succumb to, but i do think that understanding myself is a Good Thing.

The other thing is that the knowledge may be useful. For instance, someone might be able to say "why yes, be careful about doing $foo as it's possible that that might make things worse so that they do become a problem", or they might say "it sounds possibly related, but if it is then it's only minor; you might want to bear $foo in mind for if it ever becomes a problem", and so on and so forth.

'm not seeking a quick fix, and I don't think that labeling everything is necessarily some panacea that will suddenly make me mentally healthy. In fact, I'm generally wary of that sort of thing. I just felt that if there were common threads, and that I could use them to better understand myself, or be better prepared for the future then it would be sensible to take them, and if not then there'd be no harm done.

I do hope that made sense.

*noodles* that makes sense.
Well, obviously IANAD, but I don't think it sounds much like BPD. It is consistent with it but a characteristic of BPS is cycling, and you don't seem to exhibit anything like that - but perhaps I'm missing it. The drastic changes in attitude can fairly easily attributed to a hundred and one other things, though.

If you think you're bipolar, avoid St. John's Wort and things with it in unless you're under supervision of a dr, for much the same reason someone above said about SSRIs.

I think I'm sensitive to people saying "does this sound like $foo?" because taking psychiatric course everyone will go through a stage where they think they're something-- most of my classmates believed themselves, friends or family to be autistic, for example.

FIrst things first, you know you best. I don't live with you or even near you, so I'm in a horrible position to make any type of attempt at suggesting the existance of a mood disorder such as Bipolar I or Bipolar II.

There is a type of Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Disorder Not Otherwise Specified ( NOS ), that can involve fast cycling between manic and depressive episodes. How frequently such episodes would need to occur to be classified this way I cannot say. My advice would be for you to consult the DSM-IV-Tr (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV-Tr: Fourth Edition Text Revision), a widely popular tool that mental health professionals use as a guide for diagnosing and treating psychological disorders. If what is listed in the DSM-IV-Tr seems to apply to your life, then I would recommend seeking professional assistance. If it doesn't, but you're still concerned, I would again recommend seeking professional assistance.

Just a note: what I suggested above was in my capacity as a psychology student (Advanced Placement High School level Psychology) and someone who has read through portions of the DSM-IV (not -Tr, unfortunately). I do have a friend who suffers from Bipolar II, but I have not seen her in 3 years - only spoken with her on the telephone and online. This is the extent of my experience with Bipolar-type disorders, which is to say I have little to none. Don't take my word or anyone else's word for it, and try not to convince yourself that you do in fact have a disorder based upon what you might read in the DSM-IV. ALWAYS seek the help of a psychiatrist in cases where you think a disorder may be present, because only they are qualified to diagnose and treat psychological disorders.

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