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delirium happy

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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LiveJournal egos and friends list drama
delirium happy
A lot of people tend to level the accusation that people only keep LiveJournals or other weblogs as a form of egotism and exhibitionism. And while I feel that this is something of an unfair generalisation, in my case it's almost completely true. The thing that I most like about this form of self publishing is that I don't have a captive audience; anyone who reads what I have to say is doing so because they choose to. Compare this with, for instance, Usenet. On Usenet, I was always aware that people were reading the group as a whole and not my posts specificly, so I always aimed them accordingly. Many, many times I started writing a post, realised it wasn't suitable, and then deleted it. And while I do self-censor to some extent on LiveJournal (other people's secrets and Drama being the two main things I try to avoid), this is nowhere near as bad as anywhere else, because I know that the only people reading it are doing so by choice. Yes, I keep my LJ to feed my ego, but if people don't want to read it, then nobody is forcing them to.

This is one of the reasons that I find friends list drama so incomprehensible. Personally, I'd be a whole lot more upset if I found out that someone was still listing me as a friend out of some perverted sense of duty or desire to not offend than I would be if they just flat out removed me.

People are odd.

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Indeed. But I'm complex, I have both real and imaginary parts.

(Sadly, in real life, my squirrel tail is purely imaginary. But I assure you that I do have a beautiful, large, fluffy squirrel tail.)

That argument about doing it for the ego annoys me. I'd be lying if I said there wasn't some element of ego feeding going on (hey, I post pictures and stories in the hopes people will like them and give me some nice feedback). But my main reason is for the contact with others. They may be people behind a screen, but it's comforting to know that I can give air to secrets and that there are people there listening, people I can share it with, so I don't keep it bottled up inside. There's stuff I can say on LJ that I couldn't say IRL, and if I didn't say it at all, it'd drive me nuts. And then admitting it to others makes it easier to do it IRL.

So, way more than ego and exhibitionism, LJ is my contact with other people. It's a bit like therapy, really.

And like, there's the whole middle of nowhere thing. LJ means I'm not stuck talking to the scarecrows...

(Deleted comment)
Well, I wasn't meaning actual therapy - LJ shouldn't replace professionals, that would be wrong. I was meaning more along the lines of it being cathartic - like going a few rounds with a punch bag can relieve tension, or shooting the crud out of some zombies in a video game. Basically, it's an easy way to vent your frustrations by just getting them out. And it's nicer than a paper journal in the fact that you can then have someone say 'hey, I've been there', and you know you're not alone.

That's it.

You're off my friends list.

You're both off mine. :p


blog!=ego trip. One of my biggest annoyances in life is this assumption by those who don't get it that this is an ego thing. *Everything* I do is, to one degree or another, an ego thing; that's just the way I am. This is no more an ego trip than writing a novel and trying to get it published, and if that's an ego trip, well, it's a trip in the wrong direction.

And I agree with you on the friends list drama.

my bloke is constantly shunning and bitching about me using live journal so i have posted part of this onmine *especially* for him not that he would ever lower himself to reading it! we need space to air our thoughtts or we go crazy (too late for me then :P)

Well, I don't know about add/delete drama, but one type of drama I find it hard to avoid (though I try) is the person who reads my LJ, takes offense (either personal or, even harder to understand, general) and takes me to task for it. I never used to ban anyone from commenting in my LJ; now I deny anonymous replies, screen non-fiends, and have a rather long ban list. Pisses me off.

I don't mind criticism -- it's nastiness for its own sake that I have an issue with. As far as add/delete stuff goes, I only feel really bad if it's someone I thought I knew (because I know them RL and/or we've traded a lot of comments). That's the only time I'll even ask why. Otherwise, eh, whatever.

They say that like it's a bad thing.

the accusation that people only keep LiveJournals or other weblogs as a form of egotism and exhibitionism

What I don't get is that that's considered an insult. *clasps hands together* "Ooh, I'll put my whole life on the internet and discuss (some of) my every thought(s) but I wouldn't want anyone to believe I was being exhibitionist, or egotistical, or being so audacious as to think that my daily life and thoughts were of interest to anyone but myself!" Egotism and exhibitionism can be very interesting, after all.

As for friending/defriending, well, I know that my four serial adders are keeping me because they believe I care, and that makes me happy ;)

Re: They say that like it's a bad thing.

Hee. I have 6 serial adders; they obviously like me better. :)

Re: They say that like it's a bad thing.

As for friending/defriending, well, I know that my four serial adders are keeping me because they believe I care, and that makes me happy ;)

Maybe you do have a point there. Though it is only because I think it is all a very silly circumstance to be serially-added and hence think you're important enough that other people care about *you*, that I am simultaneously amused and informed.

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