delirium happy

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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How do you do it?
delirium happy
rho
Just two things about LiveJournal usage I've been pondering for myself of late, and I'm curious as to how all of you see htings.

Poll #555038 On use of LiveJournal

If you want to write an LJ entry which concerns a specific person, not in a bad way, but in a way they might not want to read (eg, $foo upset me accidentally, and I'm still annoyed even though I know it was an accident), what would you personally do?

Just go ahead and make the entry as normal
9(19.1%)
Create a custom filter to lock out that person
6(12.8%)
Create a custom filter to lock out that person and their friends
5(10.6%)
Post the entry privately
4(8.5%)
Not post it at all
12(25.5%)
Other (please comment)
5(10.6%)
I've never been in that situation
6(12.8%)

And in the same situation, what do you think the correct, "ideal" behaviour is?

Just go ahead and make the entry as normal
12(25.5%)
Create a custom filter to lock out that person
1(2.1%)
Create a custom filter to lock out that person and their friends
1(2.1%)
Post the entry privately
12(25.5%)
Not post it at all
15(31.9%)
Other (please comment)
6(12.8%)

If you have more than one thing that you want to write entries about at the same time, which do you do?

Put them all in the same entry
8(17.4%)
Put them all in the same entry, unless they're very long
28(60.9%)
Put them in individual entries unless they're very short
5(10.9%)
Put them all in individual entries
1(2.2%)
Other (please comment)
3(6.5%)
I've never been in that situation
1(2.2%)

And in the same situation, what do you think the correct, "ideal" behaviour is?

Put them all in the same entry
3(6.5%)
Put them all in the same entry, unless they're very long
21(45.7%)
Put them in individual entries unless they're very short
11(23.9%)
Put them all in individual entries
5(10.9%)
Other (please comment)
6(13.0%)

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Re wanting to post something someone else might not want to read - I find places off LJ (ie. IRC) where I can go and talk about it.

I believe this is the ideal thing to do.

Wanting to write about different things - it depends on whether I want to filter stuff. Sometimes I post everything to the highest security filter, other times I separate it out into different posts. I don't have a particular preference for what people should do here.

I do one of several things:

private entry.
offline journal.
regular entry (or filtered, but I won't bother to make a new filter, just pick one that they aren't in already) and talk about my frustrations and feelings regarding the situation without mentioning any names or identifying information and sometimes ask for advice on making the situation better.
skip writing an entry and talk about it in private to one or two people, again without mentioning names.

as for the ideal solution to putting things in one entry or lots of short ones, i do think it's up to the individual and i don't care either way how people do it, though if I'm afk for a long time and come back to skip 750 I get kind of annoyed by all the little one liners. *shrugs* I think the main thing for me is paragraph breaks. If there is an entire screen of unbroken text, my eyes glaze over and I don't follow it. Organise your thoughts into 3-5 sentence paragraphs, no more than 10. hit the enter key just to add white space every few inches or I get impatient.

#1/2: I think the ideal "other" situation is to post the entry as FO if that's appropriate, and to mention the frustration, but not the person by name. The answer varies if the person reads your LJ but isn't on your friends list (ex: my mother reads my public entries, so I FO the ones about her), or if the person is especially prone to drama and can't take even the slightest bit of criticism.

#3/4: The real ideal, of course, is post whatever you want, however you want, but I do find that entries which limit themselves to no more than one single idea plus perhaps a 1-2 line tangential idea, work best.

re: #s 3 & 4, I like to put them behind individual cuts with a lead-in. This way, it minimizes friendspage clutter but remains managable.

With regards to question 1 it varies by situation.. It's better to filter out them AND their friends if you have to filter them out, but the ideal thing to do is not post at all about them, or to post it privately. Drama-mongering is no fun. I would *never* do it to their face, albeit thinly veiled with no identifying details, because no one wants to read an entry and all the while think "oh.. wow.. this is maybe about me?"

I don't really believe in discussing things behind someone's back. I will and have done this, but I try to not say anything I'd not say to the person directly.

I tend not to use LJ to post minute details of my everyday life, so most likely I'd not post about someone upsetting me. To the second question, I'd say the correct answers are either:
1) post for all to see and comment
2) post privately if you are the sort that keeps a proper day to day journal for yourself
3) or not post it at all.

Once something is on the 'net you may as well consider that everyone has seen it. I don't consider the friends system protection against someone finding out something they shouldn't.

The first question depends on the person and the situation. Sometimes I would filter out just them, sometimes their friends as well. I have a couple of filters in place for those sorts of things, but I tend to use my filters a few times and then not touch them. I wouldn't post it privately if it was something I felt I needed feedback on, reassurance, advice, that kind of thing, but I said that posting privately was the "correct" response because it seems to be the path of least drama while also enabling you to work something through for yourself.

I sometimes dream about having entries that are focused around one topic, instead of being a long rambling mess of the past X amount of time in my life and my head. But I seem to be a long rambling messy sort of person, so my journal probably reflects that.

(Deleted comment)
Generally, ideal behavior is to talk to the person about it. If that's not a good option in the situation, then either let it go or post privately, depending. A small select filter might be okay to post to, but I find if I post negatively about specific people I care about, it tends to be a bad thing to do.

Whether to group the entries or not depends on too many factors. Such as, would they all get the same security level? Would it be any sort of issue for memories/tagging to lump them when people might want to link back to them?

Plus, I think it depends a bit on how you use your journal and how you encourage other people to use it.

Other for 1:
Actually talk to them about it instead of letting it fester, or *appearing* to talk about it to all and sundry. Face-to-face if possible, but IM, IRC or email work fine (roughly in that order of preference). In a potentially unpleasant situation, it is always best to remember that it is *not* possible for someone reading livejournal to tell that the post they read is locked to them, unless you say so explicitly.
Other for 2:
Same again...

With regard to "more than one thing" I tend to do what feels right at the time.

1/2) Most likely what I'd do is write about it offline/on paper or talk about it with the person or an unconnected person. If I wasn't able to do those things, I might post an entry privately, and have done before, once or twice, to get things worked out in my head.

3/4) My entries would be very, very short if I posted only about single things at once, and posting as individual entries means having a great deal of spamminess. That's for me, though. For other people: really long entries mean I sometimes postpone/forget to read entries; numerous short ones mean I might give up reading a journal altogether because it'd be just too spammy. Medium-length ones on a single theme tend to be the "nicest" to read. Some people on my friends list use headings to separate multi-subject posts; it makes me read those sooner as well, and it's nice and clear.

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