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delirium happy

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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Please don't kill me
delirium happy
I blame this on shehops. She was most heinous at me, and revenge was required.

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(Deleted comment)
AUUGHHHH!!!!!!! I did have the good sense to be frightened when you mentioned you were plotting revenge, but I had no idea. I just... had... no idea. Nothing I have ever ever done or ever ever will do at you is or ever will be even remotely bad enough to justify a revenge like THAT.

In fact, I hereby proclaim your actions to be the little purple equivalent of running someone over with a steamroller to punish them for forgetting to tie a shoelace!

That reminds me. I don't know a joke about steamrollers but I do know one about tractors...

I... I shouldn't ask, should I? *cringe*

Ah, but if you don't ask, you'll know that the joke is out there, waiting for you, ready to catch you unaware at any time.

Argh. *is clearly trapped by this ruthless line of reasoning*

Given the content of the last joke, I vaguely considered gnawing off one of my legs in an attempt to escape, but I need those for the walkingz. So, um... how does the tractor joke go? *whimper*

There's this boy, and he really really likes tractors. He's mad for them. He has tractor bedding and tractor wallpaper; he spends all his time reading tractor magazines and going out to farms to see tractors. He could tell you the history of the tractor, with specifications and details of every model. His sole ambition in life was to work with tractors.

Then, one fateful day, in a freak road accident, he got hit by a tractor and hospitalised. It was a very messy injury. Broken leg, cracked skull, three broken ribs, a punctured lung, and a ruptured spleen. Thanks to the heroic work of the surgeons who operated on him, though, he did pull through, but it was over two months before he was able to leave hospital.

After those two months, the psychological healing took even longer. Much longer. Try as he might, he just couldn't regain his enthusiasm for tractors after the accident. In a fit of rage, he burned all his tractor paraphernalia. And gradually, ever so slowly, he begins to find other interests.

Well, years pass, and he manages to rebuild his life. He's in his twenties now, and he's on a date with a girl he likes. It's going well, they're getting along great, and she seems to really like him. There's one problem though. The restaurant that they're in is really smoky, and it's making them both a little short-tempered. Finally, he's had enough, so he stands up, takes a deep breath, and the smoke disappears.

"Wow, how did you do that?" asks his date.

"Didn't I tell you?" he replies, "I'm an ex tractor fan."

*teeny tiny mewl of pain* ow. it my brain broke ow.

I'm so glad you liked it. :D

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