delirium happy

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

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No-one ever gets the truth from plastic man
delirium happy
rho
I am currently reading The World Without Us by Alan Weisman which is an interesting if bleak and depressing account of what would happen if humanity disappeared off the face of the planet, and just how long various bits of our legacy would take to fade away (hint: the good bits, not long at all; the bad bits, a hell of a long time).

In the chapter about plastics, he mentions that we can't really predict how long it might take for bacteria to evolve that are capable of breaking down our left-over plastics, but that something of the order of 100,000 years isn't a bad estimate.

Given that humanity is unlikely to disappear overnight, though, I couldn't help but thinking, as I read, of a totally different vision of the future. I'm predicting that some bright spark will come along and evolve or genetically engineer a species of bacteria that's capable of eating our plastics. This will then be released into our oceans and landfills to erase our past sins, but we'll also need a replacement for plastic, since the plastic eaters won't stay put where we want them. So, we'll develop a new type of plastic resistant to our super bacteria. At this point if we had any sense, we'd heavily regulate this, and make sure that we didn't end up dumping bits of it all over the planet. Of course, we wont' have any sense, so we'll fill our landfills and our oceans again and start the exact same problem over again.

I did mention it was a bleak and depressing book, right?

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I saw a Channel 5 disaster movie recently, ostensibly about the effects of a geologically ridiculous earthquake, but which actually depicted a nightmare scenario where something (which could easily have been engineered bacteria) starts indiscriminately attacking rawlplugs...

...Mind you, if pvc clothing suddenly dissolved right then and there in the street, it would make for one terribly sexy apocalypse.

Agreed, but for this to happen you'd need a pvc clothing to become commonplace. (I'm totally in favor of this, incidentally, even if doesn't lead to the sexpocalypse.)

I'm totally in favor of this, incidentally

THIS IS MY SURPRISED FACE.

THIS MY SURPRISED FACE IN RESPONSE TO YOUR SURPRISED FACE.

And then we'll develop a new bacteria to combat our problems with the new plastic strain (and an even newer superer strain of plastic) and this cycle will continue ad infinitum.

Either that or the original super bacteria will develop the ability to eat the new bacteria-resistant plastic, and we'll be screwed.

The future's gonna be fun.

So, basically what you're saying is that either we're screwed, or we're screwed? Sounds about right to me!

The History Channel showed a documentary based on that book, and the thing I remember the most was that it said that, eventually, giant cats will take over the earth. I'm sure excellent points were made in the documentary after that point, but I couldn't focus on them because my brain was still stuck on giant cats taking over the earth.

Giant cats!!!!!

*crosses fingers* In my lifetime, in my lifetime, come onnnn in my lifetime!

The best thing about it was that they weren't talking about "giant cats" in the sense of having some larger-sized lions and tigers. They were talking about elephantine versions of Fluffy and Mittens going on a godless rampage through the ruins of civilization – all accompanied by unintentionally hilarious CGI depictions and voice-overs.

All I know is, when Jesus comes, get your catnip ready.

elephantine versions of Fluffy and Mittens

I was really, really hoping that that was what you meant. Huzzah!

Have you read Zodiac, by Neal Stephenson? Your scenario reminded me of the book.

I have, yes. I even thought of it while reading The World Without US, at a bit where it mentions PCBs. And yet I still ailed to connect the thought I wrote in this entry with it. Hurr.

When I was at uni I learned about a project to encourage bacteria to store carbs as a kind of plastic instead of as starch. The plastic they made wouldn't replace all the oil-based products our society uses, but would be good for at least some applications, and wholly biodegradable by the same bacteria that make it (obviously, there's no point storing your energy as a substance you can't digest!) I wonder what happened to that.

When I heard about it, it was proving difficult to scale up; the amount of energy you'd need to run incubators big enough to get commercially viable amounts was using more fuel than it takes to make conventional plastics. OK, you could power your incubator with renewable technology instead of fossil fuels, theoretically, but renewable energy technology isn't quite there yet. So they were trying to put the relevant gene into plants, which would of course be solar powered. Except that constitutes Evil Genetic Modification, so they were running into political blocks.

Oh, neat. That sounds potentially very awesome, and it also makes sense. I hope that it's still in progress, not only because it could be very helpful to the planet at large, but also because it's just really cool science.

(Physics is and will always be my first love, but I can't deny that I have a bit of a crush oon biology as well.)

Bacteria that can eat Nylon have already evolved. Creationists are in denial. I simply fear for my tights.

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